Living in a Leftist Paradise

As I walk through the city where I learned all my tricks,
I pass all the pushers who are selling me their fix;
And that's just fine for a Leftist like me—
You know that I shun all things like bigotry,
Unless your views are different than mine
Then I'd lobby to arrest and impose a fine.
And I've been in the city for oh so long
That even all my friends think my mind is gone.
I'm a man of the street and I hate your white privilege;
Gotta trust in my Big Brother and protest his image.
But if the welfare check still comes and we cash it just in time,
Then tonight we're gonna party like it's 1999.

    We've been spending most our lives
    Living in a Leftist paradise
    I've tried to work once or twice
    Living in a Leftist paradise
    It's well worth all this sacrifice
    Living in a Leftist paradise
    We sell drugs at quite a price
    Living in a Leftist paradise.


There's hypodermic needles all over our roads,
We gave 'em out free 'cause our compassion overflowed.
"It really doesn't matter"— or so we tell—
"just keep on there a-walking and avoid the smell."
We're the pinnacle of tolerance within our land,
"Hey! would you be kind and help me stop that man!?"
We never use a straw; please reuse your grocery bags;
We're all for freedom's choice—don't you dare to wave that flag!
When you come to visit, please adopt our beliefs,
If you can't do that, we'll really give you grief.
We aren't radical or crazy, our skulls aren't filled with mush,
Pay attention to our safe space and listen not to Rush!

            There's no feud, no clash, no altercation,
            Not a single varying thought;
            Like Orwell's famous novel
            Don't you think it or you'll be caught.

    We've been spending most our lives
    Living in a Leftist paradise
    We're really caring gals and guys
    Living in a Leftist paradise
    There's no time for being nice
    Living in a Leftist paradise
    We don't care or even think twice
    Living in a Leftist paradise.

Hookin' up with buddies, stepping over clutter,
Had a riot last week, soon I'll have another.
Think you're really something?  Think you're big of heart?
I'll have Big Brother make sure you do your part!
I'm the poster child that all the Leftist wanna be—
I march around in circles 'cause I wanna save this tree!
So toe the line and don't be high and mighty
Or we'll educate you so you don't dare think "righty"!

    We've been spending most our lives
    Living in a Leftist paradise
    We're all just Leftist Loons
    Living in a Leftist paradise
    Have no job so I sleep till noon
    Living in a Leftist paradise
    Garbage truck is broke so our trash is strewn
    Living in a Leftist paradise.